Lake Malone News

By Tulip Green - Lake Malone News

I have always said that the News Democrat newspaper needed a funny paper and this morning I have decided that my column is the next best thing. I bet you say every Friday, what on earth this woman has gotten herself into since last week. Well, there is always something brewing around my house so I will just clue you in on the latest news.

I have started this little story over three times because my new computer, that the Hubby purchased for me is not working right and yesterday I tried to balance my check book and the bank has changed their electronic procedure. They put my account on line and I nearly flipped! After a phone call and a few “choice words” to the sweet little girl at the bank, I got it printed off. I don’t know why they change everything just when I have learned how to use it in the first place.

I don’t know if any of you have noticed but the “4th of July” has come and gone. I also am sure you have heard the old “wives tale” that as soon as the 4th of July rolls around Christmas is not far behind. I am sorry but if you have heard this statement, then you are not a “young chick”, you are a “wise old bird” like me! It still stands, the summer is almost over.

Well, I know you have noticed that I have been on Mother Nature’s case lately but really….she has really given us a bad “Spring” with all the rain and cold weather and now it is summer and we had HIGH WATER left over from all the rain. Now it is so DARN HOT and I am sick and tired of it. I also had another emergency, I ran out of CHEERIOS! The lady at the Dollar Store looked at me kinda strange when I rushed in to pick up three big boxes and remarked they were for my ducks. I told her my ducks were spoiled, they didn’t like old “dry bread” anymore. She looked at me as if to say, Lady you have lost it!

But people are still pulling kids around in circles on the lake, and they are enjoying every moment and the fishermen have sad faces because they are not catching any fish. I decided I wasn’t gonna let this situation spoil my summer.

Because it’s too hot to get outside myself, I decided to clean out the refrigerator! WOW, doesn’t that sound exciting? Really I have been putting this off for several weeks now, so all you energetic women out there that are sun burnt from all the over exposure to the sun; this is just the project to keep you busy.

The Hubby was sorta glad to hear that I was getting rid of all those unwanted items. You see he is one of these people that just opens the door and expects the thing that he is looking for just suddenly appears right on the front shelf. I told him he couldn’t find a “horse in there unless it was kicking”! I bet you haven’t heard that one lately

The only “earth shaking” decision I had to make was which one of the three jars of dill pickles I should choose to be the only jar that went back in the refrigerator. I asked myself, who in the world opens three jars of pickles? It be ME of course since I am the only person in the house that eats dill pickles. But what about three jars of jam and the container of honey that had turned to sugar.

I will change the subject a little. I got an e-mail this last week from a person who has just moved to the lake. She read in my column that I love to float on the water. Well, she is looking for a “FLOAT PARTNER”. Okay you people out there, I am looking for a group to go out on Lake Malone and start a “FLOAT CLUB”. Just think of the fun we would have and all the new people you would meet. I have tried many things and I never get any responses but this time, since this is so simple, I am sure I will get loads of e-mails.

Till I hear from all of you, I will remain calm and patiently wait for this ‘HEAT WAVE” to pass. It always does but as you know, no one has the patience’s to wait! We live in the NOW generation and I want the temperature a little cooler NOW.

So my advice to you is “pull your clothes off, jump in your bathing suit and run to the end of your dock and jump in the lake and don’t forget to enjoy every moment. Bye now

By Tulip Green

Lake Malone News

To contact Tulip Green about the Lake Malone news, email

To contact Tulip Green about the Lake Malone news, email

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